Death, funeral and mourning
there are certain rulles regarding the year of grief for every man who is Bar Mitsvah (13 years or older) och every woman who is Bat Mitsvah (12 year or older) and is being applied when your mother, father, husband, wife, sister, brother son or daughter has died. not if the child is younger than 30 days.
As a sign of grief you make a tear in the clothes the mourners wear. If the mourner is a child to the deceased, you make the tear at the left side, while the rest of the mourners make the tear at the right side. this is not done not if the child is younger than 30 days.
Before the funeral the mourner is called for a onion. He or she is then freed from a lott of religions commandments. It is tradition hat you match over the dead.
The funeral should be held as son as possible but not during the sabbath or holidays. The funeral service is being held by the rabbi or the cantor.
normally you don’t have flowers on a jewish funeral.
when the casket is being lowered into the earth, the mourners walk up to the grave and put three buckets of sand or soil at the coffin (together with possible flowers).
it’s very unusual that a jet is being cremated.
immediately arter the burial, the Shiva-week starts. Which means the deepest level of grief. No work are allowed. three services a day are being held in the home of the deseased. the mirrors are being covered with sheets. the mourners sits on the floor or on low stools. they are not wearing shoes, as a sign of their grief.
You let the mourner be the one starting a conversation, if she/he has the need for talking.
You keep a candle lit all day.
on the friday service at the synagog the mourners are waiting in the entrance while the assembly sings the hymn l’cha dodi.They are then picked up by the rabbi or the cantor who give them comfort with the words Hamakóm j’nachém etchém b’toch sh’ar aveléj Tsion viJrushalájim – “Den Evige tröste eder bland alla dem som sörja över Sion och Jerusalem”.
A jewish holiday interrups the shiva-week.
you are not supposed to visit the day until at least 30 days after the funeral.
During eleven months after the death the mourners will pray the kaddish-prayer at every service. After that kaddish is being read at every anniversary after the day of death.
Jahrzeit (anniversary (year after the death).
Starting the night before you light a 24-hour candle or a specific lamp. The kaddish is being read at the service.